Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
