the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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