Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
