Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
