i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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