Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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