their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
