I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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