what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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