Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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