Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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