ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
