So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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