Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
