Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
