Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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