well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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