You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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