everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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