Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize