why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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