the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
