He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
