So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
