I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
