i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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