you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize