$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
