need another drink. this is the easiest way
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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