Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
