4 words: hood of his car
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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