I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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