operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize