And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
