I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
