i jhust puked up my retainher.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize