My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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