Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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