we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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