I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
