i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
