There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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