Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Two words: nipple clamps
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