We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
