"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
