Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
