This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
