I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he shaved USA in his pubs
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
