i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
