I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
