If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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