the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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