watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think I am morally bankrupt
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
