I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
