even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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