What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
