I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
