You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your penis caused this!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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