dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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